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Are you freaking out of love?

Love Hurts

Are you freaking out of love? Or rejecting it?

I just had an insight about love…It used to freak me out. I was one of those people, and almost everyone is, that love gets you in trouble. For most people, love brings them trouble, and not the fairy tale everyone expects. But is it really love? or is it the situation? or is it you?

I´ve been: in love, out of it, uplifted by it, hammered by it. I´ve had hopeful love, and hopeless love; you name it, and i´ve felt it, lived it and suffered it… but as they say:

And at that precise moment, you may think that you are: Doomed! Fuckd! Oh crap! the LOVE word… If I say it; now I´m doomed! Or worse, everything is o.k., untill you tell the other person. That´s when they might freak out.

Well, I would like to assure you that it is quite alright, and that it almost never happens, but the thing is, most people freak out of it!

Are you freaking out of love?

This usually happens because love just strikes when you least expect it! You cannot control it! and neither the other person.

The most difficult part of love is that it needs a pair of hearts to work out. IF only one heart feels it (yours), then you really are doomed, you fall into Unrequited love. If both hearts feel it; Jackpot! You get the most wonderful feeling in the universe!

But then again, love most of the time gets pretty darn difficult to find.

Sometimes you even might get blessed with true love (both feeling it) but it may happen at a wrong moment in life, wrong timing or the situation is incorrect. You and/or the other person might already be in a relationship! This is the biggest bummer there is!.. Been there, done that!

But as Buddist Monk Thich Nhat Hanh says:

“No Mud, No Lotus.”

So we must ask, is it really love? Or is it you?

After all, it is you the one who fights it unconsciously and sometimes consciously. It is you the one that selfsabotages each and every relationship, you might have... but why? WHO knows…and this is the difficult part of my insight; that I really don´t know why.

  • Part of the answer could be, because you like it.
  • Part of the answer could be because you have low self esteem, and you think it is “Too good to be true”, and you don´t deserve it, or it will never happen to you.
  • Or, your EGO might be betraying you and making you think that you are “All that”, “Pure gold”, etc. If this is the case, you might see everyone else as less appealing, of being less than you in any way, and that they, and everyone around you, will be waiting on you forever.
  • Guess what people say about it:

    I was recently talking to a good friend of mine, and she has been in and out of toxic relationships throughout her life. She told me that she decided to stay alone for a while (good idea…She should get to know herself first, before starting any relationship 😉 )

    She also told me that she found out that she needed to love herself and be at peace with herself, to be able to really have something inside to share, with the next person that comes into her life.

    She has been broken a few times, but still is willing to risk it! Not letting past relationships to ruin future ones, and not judging somebody else by the actions, and attitudes of some one else in the past.

    Instead of running away from Love, and freaking out…

    – Accept love!… Just accept it, don´t rationalize it, don´t over-react to it. You are feeling a beautiful feeling! Cherish it!

    – Communicate with the other person. Instead of running away from the relationship, communicate any fear, thought, or trouble you might be having. It´s perfectly fine to tell them that you are not into them (Life will not end), or that you are not comfortable, or the moment is wrong, the timing or the place! or whichever reason might be; Instead of disappearing, running away, or avoiding the other person, cause this might hurt them.

    IF there is love; love will find the way. If there isn´t, you might find a good friend, or at least you let them know you will walk away from everything. Human beings need answers, give them answers… don´t be afraid of communicating your thoughts and feelings about the relationship.

    – Be congruent: Your thoughts, feelings and actions must be the same!

    – Don´t make promises that you won´t be able to fulfill. Only promise what you want and can give.

    – Understand that love is natural.

    – Believe in love; believe in the fairytale… I do. I´ve been through a lot, but I believe that true love exists, and that somewhere there is a special person that clicks with you.

    – Be willing to risk it! You´ll never live life without risking something.

    – Don´t judge new potential relationships by past relationships.

    – Communicate with that special person! Tell them exactly how you feel, without being afraid. They might feel the same way! If they don´t, well they don´t… Don´t make a big fuzz about it.

    – If the timing is wrong… have patience.

    – If the situation is wrong… Make it right!

    When you find her or him, be sure to tell them:

    So… Are you freaking out of love? Or rejecting it? Bottom line is, that you are missing it!

    photo credit: Dave_B_ via photopin cc

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