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People usually set aside mental health.
If they get physically ill, they go to the doctor. If they get mentally ill, they usually postpone it until they can no longer live a normal life. I see it a lot in my practice, i’m a psychotherapist, anxiety and eating disorders, and usually people come to me when a lot of time has passed and they, or their family can no longer cope with the mental illness, and medication has not helped.
People usually think that time will heal anything.
Guess what, time does not heal everything.
I wish it did, but the thing is that your mind never grows old. You grow old, but your problems won’t go away just with time. Most of them usually intensify with time.
People think that a pill will heal them.
Guess what, pills don’t heal everything. Sometimes, a pill might help, but there are times that there isn’t any pill to take, because the illness is psychological, like poor self esteem.
Poor self esteem can wreak havoc in your life.
Poor self esteem is, using simple words, a negative evaluation of oneself, a negative self worth or negative beliefs about the self. There´s a negative self perception involved, but also a negative understanding of how others perceive you.
According to the Centre for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy:
This self perception of how we view ourselves, our perception of how others see us, and the thoughts and beliefs we have about ourselves, our world, and our future, affect three areas:-
1. Self respect
2. Self-worth and
3. Self acceptance.
The self esteem quotient is the distance between how we see our ideal self in contrast to our real self. The greater the distance between the ideal and the real self, the lower the self esteem. The smaller the gap between the two the higher their self-esteem quotient.
When clients hold negative beliefs about themselves, which keep them from achieving the goals they set by being critical, punishing, and negatively evaluating their abilities, this leads to poor self-esteem.
It is very important that you start to pay more attention to yourself, and start observing how is your self-respect? Self-worth? and your self-acceptance? This is important for any person, but if you are running a business, you must have no gap between your ideal self and your real self.
The American philosopher and psychologist William James first coined the term self-esteem in his work The Principles of Psychology.
James (1890) viewed self-esteem as an evaluative process; he argued that self-esteem, at its simplest, could be measured as the ratio of a person’s successes to his or her pretensions. Pretensions are viewed as goals, purposes, or aims, whereas successes constitute the perception of the attainment of those goals. As people attain more of their pretensions, the ratio grows larger and self-esteem becomes correspondingly stronger. Pretensions also add a vulnerability component to self-esteem in that these are the areas where the individual is proposed to be most competent. If he or she comes up short in the percerption of goal-attainment, or in comparison with others in the same pretension arena, self-esteem suffers. A realization of shortcomings in an area that was not important to the individual, however, would not result in a devaluation of personal worth (Bernet et al., 1993, pg. 141).
According to his term, self-esteem is an evaluative process that is in direct proportion to how you are having pretensions and really attaining your goals about those pretensions.
However, you cannot have pretensions or achieve anything, if you are having self-doubts, negative beliefs, and a negative self image. You need to repair your self-esteem starting with your self-image.
The following exercises will help you to become aware of your actual self-image, and will help you to start having a healthier self-image.
Exercises to do:
• The following exercise involves dealing with your thoughts and feelings about yourself.
What you have to do is right after bathing, and drying off, go to a full length mirror and observe in detail your body. Write down on paper all you’re thinking about you, and what calls your attention. Then write the feelings you have for each area that draws attention at your body.
• Right after the exercise, still being in front of the full-length mirror, I want you to imagine that this mirror can talk to you. Just like the mirror of the evil witch of Snow White. If your mirror could talk, what would you say? I want you to take notes about everything ¨The Mirror¨ says. Then you may work with HandLink technique the negative emotions and thoughts you have written in your notes. (You may also get my Hanlink Technique by entering your name in my Optin section by the sidebar, or at the end of this article.)
• If you can´t do this, because you do not dare or you feel fear, or something. I suggest that first you make a round of HandLink to calm. Focus in what you feel about the exercise. Once your negative feelings calm down, start doing the first exercise.
• A variant of the exercise might be to take a large paper roll, as flip chart, large enough to cover your entire body. Lie on the floor on the paper, and have someone else trace your silhouette on paper, running a pencil all around your body. Once you have the picture in the paper, I want to take a few markers or colors, and you have to color the areas of your body that you like in blue, the areas of your body that make you angry for some reason or you do not like in red, and areas that make you feel bad, sad, depressed colored BLACK. If the area of the body is neutral, use a green color.
Once you have colored the big picture, I want you to write what each area makes you think or feel. This is the thought-feeling map of your body.
You may use HandLink, or EFT, or any Energy Psychology method to work on the negative areas of the Map, you may want to check my resources section.